Yesterday=nightmare

Zack not being in school has totally screwed up his routine. Hes a mess. Yesterday was aweful. ThankGod we see Dr.N today, I had to give him a half dose (.5mg) of his risperdol durning the day, for 30 min he smashed his new toys, threw things and attacked me, thankgod the other 2 actually listened and went into A's room to hide, I fought him to take the med, (he usually takes his meds no prob) He spit them at me twice and only took them because I told him I was calling the Hospital, and I almost did, I didnt know what else to do, at that it registered he was out of control and finally he took the meds, I had to make ahen an executive decision, as he has no prns, but clearly he needed something, so I gave it to him within 20 min he had calmed down and apoligized, it was insane, all because he wanted to go sliegh riding right then and I told him after the little one napped, clearly it wasnt just about going outside, but thats what set him off, I really dont know what to do or what is the next step, I really dont want him on more meds but 1mg of risperdol and .5 of celexa is helping, they say he only meets some of the criteria for bipolar a she functions well in school, but home hes a nightmare, he dosent sit still in school, but he doesnt get up he just constanly figets at his desk 78% more then 2 random children in the class, there has got to be something all these doctors are missing, I paid 2000 dollars for a private evaluation and all she came up was a severe mood disorder, coupled with tons of anxiety, this more then anxiety, I have that and I dont rage out, or scream I want to die, hes 6 for goodness sake, if this isnt stablized when he hits 12 Im going to be in total hell, although I cant imagine it being much worse...

deep sigh..

I feel so so alone

Zacks mom

I have to tell him to take a shower, and hes playing hes probably going to flip out ...another deep sigh