In a desperate panic I called Zacks doctor Tuesday night, it had been going on weeks of what had/has been incrediably painful moments where I completely realized something is really wrong with my son. His doctor has disagreed with many times with my refusal to put Zack on Lithium, he indulged me in trying drug after countless drug all in the avoidance of the dreaded Lithium. Yes it the blood draws, how horriable those are going to be, and all the research I have done but it was the fear, the fear that if that drug didnt work nothing would and I really didnt want to have the feeling that there is nothing left to try. That if this hardcore, mood stabilizing Bi-Polar drug didnt work, what would be left for me to do??
It all came to a head Tuesaday night as Zack sat in the the backseat of the car and repeated some unintelageable word over and over again, I saw it, that this, all of this wasnt fair to him, he is suffering, hes afraid, hes angry, hes confused, he is out of control, and so I made the decision to start Lithium.
I left a frantic message on his doctors cell and by 10 am on Wed. The script was in the pharmacy and I knew by that night I would be trying something that I have deemed the last resort. I had a million questions, so many possiable side effects...his doctor doesnt believe that this has to be a permanent thing that maybe in an few years if/when he is stable it could be tapered and maybe replaced with a lesser drug, I sure is hell hope so, but what I hope more then anything right now is that my son, my heart recieve some relief, I am makeing sure to be keeping him hydrated and staying away from caffine and not changing any salt intake, "keep this as they are in regaurds to his diet, just make sure he stays hydrated during his tae kwan do and play times" so that is what Im going to do, and pray that my Last resort drug brings us all a little peace and possiably a happier Holiday season, prayers welcome as so is any advice for anyone who has a child on Lithium, hes 7, Im sure I have said that before, he also wieghs 85 pounds so he is not small by anymeans, but hes not a grown up either...okay, thanks to all who have read this.
Love, Zacks mom
6 comments:
I know that you didn't want to give it to him but if I had a kid crying in the back of the car just want to make it all better. That has got to be the most powerless you feel when you can't take the pain away from your baby and that he feels that bad it's a horrible place to be in. You know what I think might be helpful? Since reading about pediatric lithium and basically children that are placed on it are ip for the first 7 days. Maybe Zach needs a setting like Remuda for six weeks where they evalulate everything and then bring in the family. The school district could have to pay for it. It's just that I know he has been through so much and deserves a place that really cares and can help. I have some ideas but not sure if they have programs for manic depressive. Fish's mom has this so I can ask her if she knows of places. These places usually bring the whole family in for training too. Good luck!!!!!I know it takes up to two weeks to see results. hugs!!!
He will be ok. My 8 year old weighs 82 pounds and takes 900 mgs of lithium daily, She is also bipolar/ manic with pyschotic episodes. As long as you stay up on the blood draws and make sure he drinks when he is thirsty he will be fine. My daughter did have one scare where she was having chest pains but it turned out to be a panic attack and nothing to do with the Lithum. Good luck.
I know you're scared, but hopefully all your fears will subside when he gets better, starts to laugh and live again like a kid. Hang in there, you are doing everything you can, doing nothing is not an option. I know my 10 year old felt a little nausea a few times, but other than that, he just naturally drank more water on his own, his thirst instinct increased so I didn't have to nag him. He also gets up in the night to pee now, and always have a water bottle at his desk in school and by his bed at night and uses it often. Hopefully by the time he gets his first blood draw, he will be easier to help.
I hope the Lithium works for your son. It can be a real miracle for a lot of people.
My dear, You are so brave and bold and honest. I too have been struggling with heading off the dreaded "last resort". What she my daughter is on now is just not working. It seems almost everything has worked for a short while (some longer than others) then they just aren't effective any more and we are left with the side effects, as well as the inability to stop giving her what she's on. We are back to square one again. I blog at http://www.lifestwistedstitches.com Come on over and say hello. I found you through Mama Bear's, My Son has 2 Brains.
How is the Lithium going? Haven't heard from you in a while...
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